Lost in Limbo

In the last week or so, I’ve realized that my blog name has become slightly outdated. Unfortunately I am no longer lost in Paris, but on the other hand, very much lost in Sacramento, stuck in a kind of limbo between the two places I really do love, Paris and San Diego. Unfortunately this limbo will endure a few more months, as I don’t move into I house until September, and can’t afford to sub lease an apartment any sooner because I spent all of my money in my last weeks in Italy, Paris and Berlin (and let me just clarify, that those trips were completely worth it). 

It’s been beyond strange being at “home” because my definition of home has completely changed. No offense to my parents, but I will never again truly call sacramento home. The old saying, “home is where the heart is” applies for a lot of places but not here. I feel more lost here than I did in Paris, because its not a place that fits me. I know that I will make way back to Paris soon, because there is no way I can keep myself away. The question is more of how, and what am I going to do with my time until then.

Because my Study Abroad adventure is officially over, I am going to wrap up this blog. My recent posts have been very unrelated to the original topic anyways, and I’ll hopefully pop up a new blog in the next week or so, after I’ve finished my paper writing, job applications, and other stuff around the house. I may post the occasional nostalgic post, as I continue on this process of attempting to reintegrate myself into a “normal” lifestyle (starting with the fact that I just updated my permanent Google maps location to my home address, instead of my Paris one).

So time to come to terms with reality, cali is cali, and for the time being, I’m here to stay.

Date a Girl who reads

Find a girl who reads. You’ll know that she does because she will always have an unread book in her bag.She’s the one lovingly looking over the shelves in the bookstore, the one who quietly cries out when she finds the book she wants. You see the weird chick sniffing the pages of an old book in a second hand book shop? That’s the reader. They can never resist smelling the pages, especially when they are yellow.

She’s the girl reading while waiting in that coffee shop down the street. If you take a peek at her mug, the non-dairy creamer is floating on top because she’s kind of engrossed already. Lost in a world of the author’s making. Sit down. She might give you a glare, as most girls who read do not like to be interrupted. Ask her if she likes the book.

Buy her another cup of coffee.

Let her know what you really think of Murakami. See if she got through the first chapter of Fellowship. Understand that if she says she understood James Joyce’s Ulysses she’s just saying that to sound intelligent. Ask her if she loves Alice or she would like to be Alice.

It’s easy to date a girl who reads. Give her books for her birthday, for Christmas and for anniversaries. Give her the gift of words, in poetry, in song. Give her Neruda, Pound, Sexton, Cummings. Let her know that you understand that words are love. Understand that she knows the difference between books and reality but by god, she’s going to try to make her life a little like her favorite book. It will never be your fault if she does.

She has to give it a shot somehow.

Lie to her. If she understands syntax, she will understand your need to lie. Behind words are other things: motivation, value, nuance, dialogue. It will not be the end of the world.

Fail her. Because a girl who reads knows that failure always leads up to the climax. Because girls who understand that all things will come to end. That you can always write a sequel. That you can begin again and again and still be the hero. That life is meant to have a villain or two.

Why be frightened of everything that you are not? Girls who read understand that people, like characters, develop. Except in the Twilightseries.

If you find a girl who reads, keep her close. When you find her up at 2 AM clutching a book to her chest and weeping, make her a cup of tea and hold her. You may lose her for a couple of hours but she will always come back to you. She’ll talk as if the characters in the book are real, because for a while, they always are.

You will propose on a hot air balloon. Or during a rock concert. Or very casually next time she’s sick. Over Skype.

You will smile so hard you will wonder why your heart hasn’t burst and bled out all over your chest yet. You will write the story of your lives, have kids with strange names and even stranger tastes. She will introduce your children to the Cat in the Hat and Aslan, maybe in the same day. You will walk the winters of your old age together and she will recite Keats under her breath while you shake the snow off your boots.

Date a girl who reads because you deserve it. You deserve a girl who can give you the most colorful life imaginable. If you can only give her monotony, and stale hours and half-baked proposals, then you’re better off alone. If you want the world and the worlds beyond it, date a girl who reads.

Or better yet, date a girl who writes.”

— Rosemary Urquico